Open marriages and the “new monogamy”

Just read an article about open marriages and monogamy and the seemingly rapid increase of a new style of monogamy. Open marriages are on the rise, thanks in part to a new thinking in marriages. Yes you will love them until the end of time. Yes you will stay with them in sickness and in health, but, yes you will be allowed to have sex with people other than your partner.

Open marriages would end infielity altogether. No more lies and deciet. No need for affair alibi’s. Read this article in New York Magazine for more insight on the way many marriages are heading.

Here’s some of the terms you’ll find being used with talking about monogamy or open marriages and relationships.

Above-the-waist rule

An agreement that any touching above the beltline
is fair game.

Body-fluid monogamy

When a couple forgoes the latex with each other but requires it for all outside
sexual activity.

Celebrity trading card

As seen on Friends: an imaginary laminated card in your wallet—proof that your partner has given permission for you to
sleep with the stars listed.

Cheating

Secret, extracurricular romantic and/or sexual activity that breaks the rules. So nineties, so lame.

Closed relationship

How some people in
open relationships refer
to “old-fashioned” monogamy.

Don’t ask, don’t tell

A policy whereby people in a committed relationship may screw around,
so long as they
are discreet.

Ethical slut

A promiscuous person who strives to approach partners with respect and honesty. (From the 1997 how-to book by Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt.)

Fifty-mile rule

You don’t sleep with anyone who lives in your city. (Also the title of a 2002 book by Judith Brandt.)

Make-out party

Events open to the public where semi-nudity and above-the-waist fondling
are encouraged.

Open flirting policy

An understanding that flirting is healthy, harmless fun.

Open relationship

A long-term, committed relationship in which the couple explicitly agrees to extracurricular sexual activity, either together
or individually.

Party bisexual

A woman or a man who engages in same-sex sex-play after multiple martinis.

Pinch hitter

Someone a couple
brings in to spice up their love life, e.g.,
to watch
them have sex or to get together with one-half
of the couple while
the partner watches.

Physical monogamy

You can look, fantasize,
and engage in dirty talk—
but no touching.

Polyamory

A philosophy of being involved with multiple long-term, intimate partners.

Polyfidelity

Having more than
one long-term
partner but being
closed to additions, e.g.
trinogamy (see below).

Polygamy

Multiple spouses.

Swinging

Partner-swapping. Sometimes referred to as
“the Lifestyle.”

Trinogamous

To be in a committed threesome.

Work boyfriend/girlfriend

A colleague —your lunchmate, IM partner, smoking buddy, etc.
No sex, though.